Hey, I was hasty in picking my name and decided [instead of studying] that I'd make a new one. So, guys, friend me on im_amartyr All my topics are transferred but none of the memes or junk especially the gay memes. It's nice to leave those along the wayside.

I feel: excited

Write a ficlet inspired by the following quote: "What most people don't seem to realize is that there is just as much money to be made out of the wreckage of a civilization as from the upbuilding of one… There's good money in empire building. But, there's more in empire wrecking." Rhett Butler, Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell).

( More in empire wrecking )

I feel: awake

If you guys really think I'm gonna take that long-ass rate my life meme you all have another thing coming.

But.

I love Haley James Scott. And to me despite the problems and the drama and the struggles my life is a 10.

That's all.

( Shut up )

I feel: loved

I am now caught up with Season 4. I downloaded them all and marathon'ed them like crazy. So, I am finally up to speed. I get the dash of salt references and the martyr reference, I get everything. Just letting you all know. This makes me even more excited now to RP since I now have a full deck to play with.

I feel: accomplished

For tricky_heart

[Locked from Haley]

So, Peyton's come up with the idea to throw Haley a surprise shower. Apparently, I'm smart because I came up with the idea. You think your mom would be into catering that kind of event?

Also, you haven't really been around, Luke. Something on your mind?

[Unlocked]

School sucked today.

I feel: curious

( I am so NOT )

( NATHAN stands for )

( I think I took the wrong gender )

( Does this make me Scottish? )

I feel: confused

( Yet something else to fill out. I don't want to study )

I feel: bored

Everyone, request a "growl" button on livejournal's home page. This would be a button that, when pushed a growl should sound. It's the best idea ever and me and Haley agree we should campaign for this.

WE WANT A GROWL BUTTON!

YOU SHOULD TOO!

I feel: hopeful

OREOS IN MILK OWN OREOS IN HOT CHOCOLATE EVERY TIME

I feel: determined

( stupid MASH thing )

( I have my own personal stalker )

I think I'm done memes for now.

I feel: thirsty

( get out of the way! )

The Vapor Trail is heading your way.

I feel: disappointed

002. You're in a bar, having a drink by yourself, and someone takes a seat beside you. This person could be anybody - someone you know, someone famous, or someone you've never met before in your life. The person strikes up a conversation and asks you to tell them your life story. What do you tell them?

Okay, well, I don't get drunk easily, much less drunk enough to go into my life story. I guess it depends on when in my life this happens because there was a time when I spent more of the day drunk then not. I even brought a beer into school one day when I finally decided to go to school. Well, if it was during that time then I would definitely have spewed into my "I lost my wife to a rockstar" story but nobody wants to hear depressing bar stories except for the bartender and I'm betting that the bartender didn't pop a squat next to me. And I'll take this as now. After the whole point shaving controversy.

Okay, so it doesn't say you have to be drunk but I'm not the most open person when not drunk...or when drunk for that matter and my first instincts with people isn't "tell them my lifestory" it's mostly, "who the hell is this guy?" Okay, so I guess I decided a guy sat next to me. And I'm in the bar obviously squandering what money I've saved this week on a drink. Smart? No. But this is obviously not a logic challenge. Why I'm trying to turn this into that I don't know. I should just do this to get it over with.

Fine. A guy sits next to me and then person strikes up a conversation and he'll ask about me, my life, I look promising or ambitious or something that a stranger usually infers when they meet someone.

I'd say that I'm a guy who's made a lot of mistakes in the past. A guy who's learned from right and wrong, popular and unpopular, lawful and unlawful. I may look like a teenager who doesn't know much (or an older guy who doesn't know much) but I know a hell of a lot more then most people in this bar do. I've said and done things that some people never get to say or do. Like, I bet he thought I wasn't married. Well, surprise, bar guy. I am. Married. To a beautiful woman who's pregnant with our child. I've done things I'm not proud of, things I shouldn't. I've dove in after a family member (and a particularly hated school bitch) when their limo went over a bridge into a river. I've let anger completely take me over for months at a time which culminated in a crash of monumental proportions which made me rethink my life and my family situation. And after all of this I'd realize I haven't even touched on my parents.

Okay, well, my mom, Deb is great. She's been in rehab a couple times, mentally tortured by my father, and basically treated like crap for most of her adult life. My father, Dan Scott, the good ol' Mayor of Tree Hill single-handedly orchestrates so much of what goes on in this town and all for unlawful reasons and might just be faking a turn around.

I'd tell them about my brother, Lucas, who I used to hate with every fiber of my being until we became a good team and found a joint enemy in Dan Scott. And I'd tell them how freaked out I am about the future because I might have thrown my entire basketball career away at the press conference even though I know it was the right thing to do.

Yeah, my life's screwed up. But so is everyone's in Tree Hill really, if you think about it. I hope whoever sits next to me isn't from Tree Hill so they don't have to live with the problems that just living here brings.

And I'd tell them I hope they find true love someday because unlike what a lot of other people say, it is all it's cracked up to be. And more.

I feel: drunk, apparently

( 50 questions that are going around... )

I feel: hungry

Stolen from pretty_girl

( Comment and fill this out )

It took Haley forever to teach me how to do this LJ cut thing so take the time to fill this out.

I feel: amused

that my life is perfect and that I can get away with anything. A couple months ago when Jimmy came into school with a gun and held me, Haley, Rachel, Skills and these other two students hostage in the tutor center we didn't know if we'd make it out alive. Jimmy made a comment about how Haley and I seemed happy, or in this case, seemed to be protecting each other. And he made a comment about how I got away with everything. How I had hurt her, ignored her for a month, treated her like she had betrayed me...which at the time I had thought that she...had but he didn't understand. We all have problems and I don't get away with everything. Far from it. Here's just a small list of things I haven't gotten away with:

1. Stealing a school bus after a home game. (It seemed like a good idea at the time)
2. Originally getting Haley to tutor me to spite Lucas. (Resulted in many fights)
3. Marrying Haley (my mom was so pissed off...not that I cared)
4. Crashing the race car (accidentally or, whatever)
5. Stealing money from a riverboat casino.
6. Point shaving.

So, if Jimmy is up there in...or down there in...if wherever Jimmy is has some sort of access to the internet I hope he reads this.

Because I'm not some elite guy. I don't get away with everything. I never have. And I never will and I kinda think I like it this way.

Okay, so I get that I did get away with the school bus incident but really, karmically(spelling, Hales)? I didn't. Cause back then everything I didn't want to happen, happened. Because of the massive suspension Whitey made Lucas was put on the team...and then I lost Peyton and well, long story short, I got away with it...but it didn't get away from me.

Or something.

Okay, so I'm not the kinda guy who'd call my mom...mommy. It's always been mom. For the first 16 years of my life my mom spent most of my child hood away on business helping the Earth and the environment, leaving me alone with my basketball tyrant of a dad. Well, back then I would never have admitted to that. I would have told people my dad was really riding me hard over games but I'd never say he was going too far because hey, he had my best interests at heart.

Well, eventually I learned that he hadn't. It was all about him.

It took my mom's return to Tree Hill to see this. She came back in the beginning of my junior year and our relationship was pretty strained. But she was divorcing dad and that was for the best. I was busy with Haley and then dad had a heart attack and he never signed the divorce papers.

Mom hated Haley when we told her we had gotten married. Dad was in the hospital and she was in the chapel. It took her a few months before she softened and Haley had already gone, from me, from Tree Hill, and she had handed me money to find her. Not long after I ... had gotten into a car crash and my mom went into rehab. When she returned she vowed to me we would get out. Get out from under my dad, just get out for good. I believed her and I trusted her. Except, dad pulled her back in with his campaign for mayor. Yeah, my dad's the mayor of Tree Hill. A lot of sons would be ecstatic and proud but me, I'm just sickened. He held mom there, like his trophy before the town, the picture of a perfect family and when he won the election he left town.

She returned a couple months later. Haley and I were renewing our vows. Dan, my dad, made her life hell when she came back. And she almost committed suicide. But, it was an attempt and she survived. To say I'm worried about my mom is an understatement. Cause, she's the only mom I've got. Except, she's getting better. And she accepts Haley and I and she even drove Haley and me to our prom which under normal circumstances would be embarrassing but ... I was proud to be driven by my mom.

I don't tell her this. But I think she'll make a great grandma when our son is born. I just do. And one day, she'll get out. For real. And I'll know she's really safe. But for now. She's my mom. And I'm going to protect her and my family.

I love her.

Happy Mother's Day mom.